Many of my prospective clients email me telling me they have ‘had enough’ of this food thing, which generally means worrying about food, obsessing about food, feeling like food is controlling their life and feeling like there’s nothing that can be done about all of the above.
Warning: I’m severely jet lagged and incredibly inspired (a killer combination- but let’s let this post determine if that’s actually the case), so I’m going to give this to you straight:
This ‘food thing’ is happening because in some way shape or form you’re allowing it to happen.
And I hope you don’t take that message with a side serve of guilt…because if you do you ARE going to miss the whole point of this post.
What I mean is likened to the whole idea of jumping ‘on the wagon’- with your wagon being your ‘story’, which is the real reason why you have had enough of this ‘food thing’.
This goes without saying, but it needs to be said because logic doesn’t always inform behaviour and/or create behavioural change:
If you choose not to get onto ‘your’ wagon, stay on it or be strapped to it, then there won’t be a ride to be had in the first place.
You’re where you are with food for a reason (likely many reasons). At the core of all your ‘issue/s’ is a reason ‘why’ you have wound up with the relationship you have with food today. If you have followed my work for a while now you will know that I hold firm that we use food as a coping mechanism for something extraneous that is causing us to feel something we find incredibly difficult to tolerate (namely fear, vulnerability and shame).
There is something going on in your life that has made you turn to food to ‘fix’, heal and/or suppress ‘something’ that has touched a ‘sore’ spot in your life.
You’re essentially where you are because of a ‘story’ that I’m going to term throughout this article hereon in as your ‘wagon’. Your wagon is what is driving your thoughts and feelings, with the result being these then drive your behaviour. When you ride your wagon you’re making choices and taking action in line with a particular story.
So it’s logical and sensible to point out that by riding that wagon you’re engaged with your story and the beliefs and therefore the behaviours associated with this story perpetuate.
If your wagon is all about ‘weight loss being sexy and confidence boosting’ then riding that wagon will likely result in you experimenting with fad diets, body shaming and strongly valuing the way your body looks as a key indicator of your personal strengths.
The behaviours? Negative, punitive self talk. Food restriction. Over exercising. Deconstructing a menu until you’re left eating the side salad. Shaming your body in any reflective surface you can find. And so on.
I can hear you saying ‘What can you do’!! (likely with hands up in the air in utter desperation).
Apart from clicking here and checking out my personal coaching services I want you to ask yourself:
- What “wagon/s” am I riding? (remember: this is your ‘story’)
For example: For MANY years I was riding the ‘Skinny equals success wagon’. I believed that if I was skinny then the universe would suddenly give me everything that I wanted and felt I deserved (because that’s being really realistic right?)
- What am I thinking that is luring me into this wagon? …Mental note to self: Your wagon ain’t a bright shiny Ferrari so don’t think for a second your wagon is attractive…
- What is 1 thing I can do right now that can stop me from riding this wagon?
One of the best things I did during my wagon riding days was to start REALLY challenging, questioning and getting in the face of the stories that were keeping me on the wagon in the first place.
So I want you to REALLY look over question 2 and give it a lot of time. Yep, it’s a tricky one –BUT- it’s worth getting uncomfortable, brutally honest and being able to put an arm around fear….because once we go to those places where we are aware of what is driving the pain, vulnerability and the behaviours, you can’t un-know this incredibly insightful information.
This point needs to be said again (loudly):
It’s worth getting uncomfortable, brutally honest and being able to put an arm around fear…because once we go to those places where we are aware of what is driving the pain, vulnerability and the behaviours, you can’t un-know this incredibly insightful information.
When you are aware of what your story is, you will start to realize it is a huge disservice to yourself to ignore it and to buy into it.
When I stopped being childish and looked at my story like a child (please do yourself a huge favour and listen in to what Liz Gilbert and Marie Forleo discuss the difference between being childish and a child). I was able to get in the face of my ‘story’ and challenge that fact that there are a whole lot of skinny people who are not successful, who are bloody miserable and who are making one heck of a mess of their lives- despite– the size of their body.
So I sat with: does skinny equal success? Do it really mean that the universe will open up and reward me/ love me more/ give me what I deserve?
And that my loves bring us into ACTION…
Drop that shitty, liar of a story.
Hear your story and probe into it enough to know that it is a load of BS.
Examine it like you would something dodgy floating at the top of your cup of tea. Inspect it closely, probe at it and then get it out of there and throw it away.
So to finish: here’s to a lot of flinging. Now tell me what it is you’re going to be flinging around? Comment below and if you know someone who would really benefit from a good ‘fling’ (of the shit story sort, not a romantic fling), then send this over to them using the social media buttons below.
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