I was talking to a client the other day who brought up a topic that I think definitely warrants a discussion with you all.
We were chatting in a 1:1 session about how she had an experience of suddenly feeling like she had instantly gained weight. One minute she was feeling ‘ok’ – her weight wasn’t an issue right in that very moment and then 20 minutes later she was feeling ‘fat’ – desperately planning what she was allowed or not allowed to eat for the following meal (or 50).
Of course she was like ‘wtf’?!
I think every woman knows exactly what I’m talking about when I describe the situation of “ the fat police” coming out of nowhere, barging into your house and ransacking you.
I know I used to feel these sudden fat feeling’s coming on all the time.
.…Magically when I was putting on my swimmers
….Moments before walking into the bar to meet the guy I was on a date with
….During a catch up with a friend who I hadn’t seen in ages
….Seconds after deciding that I was going to make today my ‘rest day’ from the gym
First up it’s important to get some logical perspective here. Scientifically and logically speaking, we cannot go from say 70 kg to 85 kg in a matter of some 20 minutes, 2 hours, 1 day etc.
It is not possible (unless of course you attach weights to yourself… but I doubt you’re doing that).
So what’s really going on here? Because there is most certainly something happening to you in that space of time that has resulted in you suddenly breaking out into a ‘shit storm’ of body hating… Which basically means turning to your body and shaming, labelling and loathing it.
What’s happening is that there is something going on in your life that’s essentially making you feel a degree of anxiety, nervousness and basically afraid…which is a result of self doubt or insecurities of some type.
And for many of us we have been engrained with this belief that when we feel uncomfortable feelings- be it anxiety, panic, grief, failure etc that it must be because there’s something inherently ‘wrong with us’….that whatever is happening is all our fault. That we caused whatever to happen. That we’re the ‘stupid idiot’ that made all of this unfold.
…And you and I know that when you have a disastrous relationship with food and your body the ‘something wrong with me’ feeling has everything to do with your body.
You start to think:
…If we weren’t so fat I wouldn’t be feeling anxious
….I must be feeling this way because I’m not thin enough
….If we lost weight I would’n’t be feeling so down on myself right now
What I really want to open your mind up to and entertain is this idea that these sudden ‘fat feelings’ have absolutely nothing to do with your weight and everything to do with something going on emotionally, spiritually, mentally.
….There’s something that has changed your perception of your weight in that space of time…..And the first step is working out what that ‘something’ is.
Because I know that you inherently know that in the space of a small period of time, that you actually have not gained weight.
….Like the time leading up to an interview when all of a sudden you feel like your pants are tighter
….When you’re getting dressed to go on a date and you all of a sudden feel more bloated than usual
….When you’re about to go swimming and your feel like your legs re looking more like an organe than they have ever looked.
This is perception at play….and this perception is being driven by something within your life.
After you have understood that there’s something at play here, it’s time to find out what that is. Which leads to the second step… Stop and ask yourself these questions:
- If I wasn’t thinking about how fat I was feeling right now what would I be thinking of?
- What would be going on right now if I wasn’t thinking about food and my body? Would I be tired, would I be angry would I be worried?
- What am I anxious, nervous or afraid of? E.g. Am I afraid that I won’t get this job I really want and I’m taking my fear and insecurities out on my body? Am I feeling fearful of the meeting I have with my boss and I’m taking out feeling unworthy or the fact I might be underperforming on my body?
One way to disempower the ‘fat thoughts’ is to question the nature of them….to unpick what is actually going on…which involves starting to explore and give credit where it is due to aspects of your life that are contributing to how you’re feeling.
It’s about starting to get into the habit of asking yourself these questions, even if you think they might be ‘silly’ or something that ‘won’t work’…. because one day you will have a reality where it will click for you and you will make the link- and fast- which will kill the onslaught of the ‘fat police’ completely ruling the show.
And that’s empowerment right there.
Be open to the possibility that your ‘fat feelings’ are related to something in your life that is bringing up insecurities and anxiousness aside from your weight.
Because the real deal is your’re probably afraid of something unrelated to your weight in that moment and it’s those people that go underneath these sudden ‘fat feelings’ that really start to make radical change with ‘feeling fat’.
Hey lady! So glad you’re here. Like what you read? Sign up below to grab a copy of two of my free products to help you heal your relationship with food and your body. And while you’re at it I’m releasing a free Christmas competition which I will be explaining in detail on Friday the 27th November 2015. Such a great time to sign up below *wink*.