Many of you know I’m a bride to be and I’m currently knee deep in the world of wedding planning. What an interesting time.
2 years ago I would have been ‘that bride’ who’d be googling and jumping on the ‘lose the belly fat in 6 weeks’ or the ’12 weeks to a banging bride body’ bandwagon in a heart beat. I’d be making plans around how I was going to get ‘fit’ and toned through manipulating my food (meal plans, diets, healthy eating programs etc) and (over) scheduling gym sessions. Heck I’d probably have found myself a personal trainer by now doing HIIT or cross fit, both of which I loathe.
Just typing that and then reading those words makes my brain explode.
To think that where I’m currently at, which is a mighty juxtaposition to that above, is incredible progress for me and a testament to the fact this work I teach and passionately share works.
Because let me tell you that becoming a bride hasn’t changed the fact I eat sugar if I want to eat sugar.
Which means if I want dessert I eat it, despite the fact I might have had ‘a lot’ of sugar already that day or despite the fact I haven’t worked out. Heck I even eat it even if I don’t really feel I ‘need’ it from a physical perspective (e.g. hunger). I know going against my body’s core ‘needs’ at some point most probably ends up in some form of rebellious eating (e.g binge eating, emotional eating, restriction, food shaming etc)- which will never ever get me anywhere ‘helpful’. you can read more about my own personal story here.
If this concept of not shaming, hating and restricting sugar is new to you then have a read of this post.
I wasn’t deluded to the fact that a simple internet search with the word ‘wedding’ would yield a ton of diet and exercise related programs. Nor did I not think for a second that as soon as someone becomes a bride the ‘food crazies’ go into overdrive all because you’ve got to have that banging babin’ bride body right? ‘The spotlight is on you so you better look hot’, kind of thought process.
Interestingly I called up a dress maker recently to schedule in an appointment and upon the lady hearing I was from overseas she was keen to schedule in the proceeding appointments. When I told her I was happy for the last fitting to be some months out from the actual wedding date she exclaimed in shock horror “But that’s when you’ll lose the most weight! We can’t finalise the dress that far out!”.
*Puzzled* Um yes, we most certainly can.
To anyone, including this lady, who thinks that weight loss is the answer to a happier, more beautiful, more successful life then let me tell you: It’s not.
The bride with the ‘bangin’ body’ has likely gone through a very shitty 12 week program to get that ‘banging body’….only to then find as soon as it’s over her hands just can’t stop reaching into the fridge for that cake, chocolate, peanut butter, ice-cream, whatever (just let her have it goddammit!) etc….only to then look back at her photos longingly wanting more than anything to get ‘that body’ back again….to then starve herself, deprive herself and talk negatively to herself….to fall off the wagon (again) at some point….and the cycle lives on.
Is that happiness right there? Is that how you foresee your own happiness playing out? You’ve honestly got to ask yourself that.
Because let me tell you you don’t have to be a bride to understand that weight loss is a significant worldwide issue that is damaging the lives of many people.
So, here are some thoughts for the times when it’s hard to remember that weight and worth are entirely different…..
Let me remind you:
….You have permission to turn the volume down on other people’s food and body issues and trail blaze your own path.
….You have permission to eat, exercise and treat your body in a way that truly makes you feel good, sane and happy, despite what your best friends, boy friend, mum think you should do.
….You have permission to seek and experience enjoyment. This is a huge area and one I work on with my clients a lot: Understanding they are worthy of pleasure, joy and fulfillment and that there are more fulfilling and pleasurable ways to end these desired feelings than counting calories, watching every bit of food that passess through their lips and berating themselves for what they did or didn’t eat.
….Which leads me to mention that you’ve got permission to actually enjoy food and exercise. Part of recovering is realising that you don’t have to suffer. You don’t have to battle with your food and body to find freedom and in fact I’ll teach you that this approach is bound to make it virtually impossible for you to find food and body freedom (food and body hate doesn’t equal a ‘sexier’ or a more ‘beautiful’ body).
….You’ll recover when you realize that you’ve had enough. You’ve had enough of the monitoring, the over analyzing, the berating, the self loathing, the weight cycling. You’ll recover when you realize the fear of recovery over rides the pain of remaining stuck and being held back from life.
Body acceptance is not a journey for the fearless. It’s a journey for those who want freedom despite the fear.
I hope you join me. If you want a cheerleader I’d be thrilled to work with you and support you to find food and body freedom. Click here for more details about how we can work together.
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